


Turning Down and Turning On Clarke Griffin

by proseoflife



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-22
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2018-05-22 14:07:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 18,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6082263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/proseoflife/pseuds/proseoflife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke gets set up on a blind date. What she didn’t expect was to fall in love that same night.</p><p>How many times can Clarke Griffin get turned down, and turned on, before she says ‘fuck it’ and walks away?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this idea for awhile, but it wasn't until I figured out the title that I decided to roll with it and see where it goes. I really do welcome comments :)

“You know I don’t do blind date’s Raven” Clarke said, flapping her arms around as if to convey a much harsher tone to her voice by using her hands to speak.  
  
  
“No Clarke,” Raven interjected. “You don’t do dates…period.”

  
“And for good reason,” Clarke whined.

 

Clarke and Raven had known each other since they were twelve, and they have loved and hated each other ever since. Raven was the new kid at school, who demanded your attention with her fierce exterior and ‘take no bullshit’ attitude. So when she met Clarke, who was very similar, it was needless to say the two girl’s butted heads.

Neither girl backed down.

For their whole Middle and Senior years, Clarke and Raven competed each other against everything. From who would ace their exams more, to who would kick the more goals in their soccer matches, to who could swim and run the fastest. It wasn’t until their last year at school, when Clarke’s father had a terrible car accident and died, that the two girls became friends. And even though they continued to compete in pretty much everything, they also knew that without each other they wouldn’t be the best versions of themselves.

 

“Just go out and have some fun,” Raven pleaded. “You never know, you two might hit it off and move out of my apartment.”

 

“Our apartment.”

 

“My apartment that you share with me” Raven laughed.

 

Clarke rolled her eyes and conceded defeat. “Fine, but when this date turns out to be some serial killer who ties me up and throws me in the trunk…just remember my _I told you so_ face.”

 

“Kinky.” Raven smirked.

 

 

** Later that night across town **

 

It had only been ten minutes into their date already, and Clarke was extremely bored. The conversation, thus far, had been more about the difference between still and sparkling water, which was more at the waiter than her. Followed closely with what was on the menu, which Clarke really wanted to point out that she could read.

Since all the formalities were, thankfully, out of the way, Clarke now had bets on which opening line of questioning he would go for. Would it be the ‘what do you do for work’ question, or the ‘what do you do for fun’ question. 10 bucks was on work.

 

“So” the boy began. “What do you do for work, Clarke?” He asked

 

_Bingo_

 

“I’m a scientist” she politely smiled.

 

“Really?” The boy was clearly impressed. His eyes already popping out of his head.

 

Clarke laughed, more of a ‘ha’ than anything. “No, not really.’ She shook her head. “I’m an illustrator for children’s books.”

 

The boy nodded his head, assuming to understand what any of that meant.

 

“And you?” she asked, more so out of being polite than she was actually interested.

 

“I, uh” he nervously twirled the napkin in front of him, “I work in finance.”

 

Thankfully they were interrupted by the waiter bringing out the food before Clarke could slap herself in the head with how poorly this date was going. But more so, she wanted to slap her friend Raven. _How could she possibly think this guy is dating material?_

Clarke, for thirty-two minutes and seventeen seconds, patiently listened to this boy speak and chew his food at the same time. At one point, she wondered if he would choke on his food, which led her to feel a sense of relief that this date would be over. As she was about to excuse herself, and make a run for it, she thought she saw someone she knew who had just walked into the restaurant.

 

 _No, it can’t be_ she thought.

 

“Octavia?” Clarke yelled out from where she was sitting. As the other girl looked back at her, with a huge smile forming, Clarke leapt out of her seat and practically sprinted over. “Oh my god, look at you.”

 

“Well if it isn’t the Princess, Clarke Griffin!” Octavia acknowledged, embracing Clarke into a small hug. “I haven’t seen you since…”

 

“…since I got wasted and ran naked around your house?”

 

Both girls laughed simultaneously.

 

Octavia peered over Clarke’s shoulder, “Who’s the puppy?”

 

Clarke looked back, and saw the boy smiling expectantly at her. _Damnit_. “You have to save me from this disastrous blind date.”

 

“I would…” Octavia started. “But I’m kind of waiting for my boss.”

 

Clarke begged with her eyes.

 

Octavia rolled hers. “Fine.”

 

Clarke walked back to her table, as Octavia and the waiter followed closely behind. The waiter pushing another table close to hers.

 

“This is Octavia” Clarke said. “I hope you don’t mind, but I haven’t seen her in a really long time.”

 

The boy smiled, and gestured to Octavia to sit down.

 

“And this is Flynn” Clarke said, pointing to the boy.

 

“Finn” he corrected, shaking the other girl’s hand.

 

_Fuck, I thought it was Flynn._

“How do you know Clarke?” Finn asked the girl who was now sitting beside him. Clarke immediately rolled her eyes, which didn’t go unnoticed by Octavia.

 

Octavia chuckled. “We kind of went to school with each other.”

 

“Kind of?”

 

“Yeah, I mean, she was two years ahead of me. She knew my brother.”

 

Clarke flinched at those words, hoping this line of questioning would soon stop. She didn’t want this boy, who she would more than likely never see again after tonight, knowing too much about her.

As if the gods above were listening to Clarke’s prayers, they were interrupted by an unfamiliar voice now standing near their table. Although, by the looks of things Octavia seemed to know the girl standing there.

 

“Lexa” Octavia smiled, standing to greet the woman. She was taller than Octavia, but not by much. Her eyes, however, were a magnetic green. Her hair was half up, half down – messily but styled the way. But it was the way she stood, and commanded herself, that took Clarke’s attention. Tall, back straight, shoulders back – this girl meant business.

 

“Octavia” she greeted, before slowly placing her clutch down on the table and taking a seat next to the blonde. “I didn’t know we would be having company this evening.” She said in a more hushed tone.

 

“I hope you don’t mind” Octavia smiled. “This is Clarke, we went to school together.” She rushed out, pointing to the girl seated next to Lexa.

 

Lexa looked the girl quickly up and down, and Clarke immediately felt chills.

 

“And you are?” She looked to the boy opposite of Clarke.

 

“Flynn” he nervously replied. “I meant Finn” He quickly corrected, not before a few choice words were muffled under his breath.

 

 

Two hours later   
  
  
After the first two bottles of wine were opened and quickly disposed of, Clarke reconnected with Octavia and caught up on the several years they had missed since they last saw each other. Although Clarke had heard different things from mutual friends, Raven included, it was a nice to hear it from Octavia herself. She soon learned that Octavia was a paralegal for Lexa at a law firm here in the city, Lexa boasting pride at the creation she made out of Octavia.

Octavia then learned that Clarke went on to become an illustrator while also trying to put herself through art school.

Another two bottles were disposed of, and the four of them were sitting there laughing and carrying on like old friends. Well, three of them – Flynn/Finn was just sitting there.

 

“Oh god” Clarke announced. “The wine is getting to my head.”

 

Octavia giggled, taking another sip of her drink. “I think the wine got to your head about three bottles ago.”

 

Clarke raised her index finger to her lips giving her a ‘shh’ sound. “If you’ll excuse me” She said, pointing to the bathroom before walking off.

 

“I’ll go with her” Lexa said, giving Octavia and the boy a gentle smile.

 

As Clarke exited the bathroom stall, she noticed Lexa standing by the sink reapplying her mascara, or eye-liner. At this point Clarke was a little too intoxicated to tell.

 

“Hi” the blonde slurred, bumping her shoulder into the other girl. “Checking up on me?”

 

Lexa let out a soft laugh. “I could go and get your date to check up on you, if you prefer?”

 

Clarke groaned. “Why do I let my friends set me up on these disastrous blind dates?”

 

It was more of a statement than it was a question, but Lexa could somehow tell there was a bit of sincerity behind the other girl’s words.

 

“You don’t seem like the type of girl that let’s anyone dictate what you can and cannot do.”

 

Clarke scrunched up her nose, although it was the nicest thing anyone had said to her in a while. But she paused, and looked at Lexa through the mirror, met with the other girl’s eyes upon her. She saw a stillness looking back at her; she also saw a softness and felt a warmth. It was as though in one split moment she knew this girl.

 

“Clarke” Lexa softly spoke

 

“Lexa” Clarke replied, now turning to face the girl.

 

Clarke reached for a loose strand of hair that fell upon Lexa’s cheek, and tucked it behind her ear. She never broke eye contact with Lexa, not once. She leaned over, and her lips had suddenly met Lexa’s. They kissed, and Clarke felt the passion of their kiss as if a candle’s flame had been ignited. Her cheeks flushed, and her heart rate rose.

 

“You’re drunk Clarke,” Lexa broke away first. “And we shouldn’t.”

 

Clarke’s eyes were still shut, and her mouth feeling the loss of contact from Lexa. “I’m not the only one,” she responded, opening her eyes slowly. “And we should.”

 

Lexa took Clarke’s hands in her own, and tightly squeezed them. “Believe me when I say in another time, and in another place, I would be all yours.”

 

Clarke thought it was because they were both slightly intoxicated, and so she conceded defeat and allowed Lexa to lead them back out to their table.

 

 

** Even later into the night, back at Clarke’s apartment **

“Clarke?” Raven asked, as she heard the blonde stumble through the front door, tripping over everything in sight. “You got drunk?”

 

Clarke plopped herself onto the sofa nearby. “I’m not drunk” She corrected her friend, “I just can’t feel my face.”

 

Raven laughed, as she sat down beside her friend who was sprawled out on the sofa. She picked up Clarke’s legs, and placed them on top of hers. “You’re smiling?” She asked. “So, Finn was a success?”

 

Clarke rolled her eyes. “God, no. Flynn was a disaster.”

 

“Then why are you smiling?” She asked, confused.

 

“I ran into Octavia.”

 

“Octavia Blake?”

 

“Yep” Clarke nodded. “And then I had my tongue in her friend’s mouth.”

 

Raven let out a belly of a laugh. “You what?”

 

“Lexa!” Clarke slurred and screamed all at the same time, and then passed out two seconds later.

 

Raven shook her head in disbelief, “Only you Clarke.” She smiled.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two updates in one day, what can I say? Hope you enjoy!

The following morning Clarke arose to the stinging sensation of sunlight, clutching at her head in agony. It had been awhile since Clarke had drank like she did last night, trying to piece together the bits that she couldn’t quite remember. She reached for her phone and noticed she had four unread messages.

 

 **(Raven 6:03am)** Don’t puke on my sofa

 **(Raven 6:05am)** Or anywhere else in the apartment. Love you.

 

Clarke rolled her eyes at the sarcastic warmth she felt from her best friend. She then noticed she had two messages from the same unknown number.

 **  
(Unknown 7:37am)** I don’t know about you, but my head fucking hurts. Also, way to impress my boss! PS it’s Octavia, in case you forgot you gave me your number

 

 **(Octavia 8:15am)** WAKE UP GRIFFIN! FEEL MY PAIN!

 

Clarke chuckled to herself softly. She saw the time was just past 9 in the morning, and decided to reply.

 

 **Clarke:** My eyes are stinging and my memory is foggy. I remember Flynn, I remember seeing you, I remember meeting your boss, and I remember there being wine. What else?

 

She set aside her phone, and rose from her bed. Out in the kitchen, she poured herself a glass of water when suddenly she remembered her date last night with Finn, and him telling the waiter about the differences between still and sparkling water. She rolled her eyes at the memory, and in one big gulp drank all of the water.

 

“Ha!” she proclaimed in victory to no one but herself. “Take that Finn!”

 

Her phone vibrated once more, and she opened it to another message from Octavia.

 

 **O:** Wasn’t his name Finn?

 

Clarke immediately responded

 

 **C** : Who cares?

 **  
O:** Come to mine for dinner tonight, and bring Raven! We can tell my boss more war stories.

 

It suddenly dawned on her what happened in the bathroom at the restaurant.

 

“Shit!” Clarke yelled. “I kissed her fucking boss.”

 

 **C:** Can’t. Have a big thing tomorrow.

 **  
O:** Too late, I already spoke to Raven this morning and she said yes. See you then x

 

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuckity. Fuck. Fuck” Clarke voiced, as her hands and fingers were pulling at her hair.

 

 

** Later that afternoon **

When Raven walked through her front door, she noticed that Clarke was about two seconds away from self-combusting. She was pacing around the room, mumbling incoherent noises from her mouth. Raven wanted to think that her friend was mustering up words, however they only sounded like noises. Harsh noises.

 

“Clarke, are you having a stroke?”

 

Clarke stopped in her tracks and immediately flung around to face her friend. “Why did you say yes? Why?”

 

“Say yes to…” she was cut off before she could finish that question

 

“I mean, in what world Raven. Seriously. What were you thinking?”

 

“But…” again, she was cut off.

 

“Is it because you secretly hate me? Are we going back to our High School competitive days? Is that it? Are we there again?”

 

Clarke had gone mad.  
  
  
“Clarke!” Raven yelled. “Shut up and let me speak.”

 

Clarke was still.

 

“I have no idea what the hell you’re on about, so take a deep breath and start again.”

 

Clarke clutched at her head, feeling the pain of the hangover she had suffered almost all day. She took a few deep breaths, and apologised with sincerity in her eyes. “Octavia. You said yes to dinner with Octavia and her boss.”

 

“Ah!” Raven finally understood the madness of the girl in front of her. “Lexa.”

 

“Lexa.”

  
“The girl you exchanged saliva with”

 

Clarke nodded sheepishly.

 

“And she’s the reason you’re so worked up today?”

 

Again, she nodded.

 

Raven smirked, “So what’s the worst possible thing that can happen? We go over there, you two swap spit again, and we get a free meal.”

 

Clarke shook her head. “Nope, no swapping of any bodily fluids.”

 

“I need a home cooked meal Clarke.” Raven almost begged. “And it’ll be good to see O again. I miss that kid. Ever since you and B-“

 

“Nope. Nuh-uh. We do not mention the B word. That was the agreement” Clarke quickly said, cutting her off for the third time that day.

 

“Fine” Raven gritted her teeth. “But we’re going over there and playing nice.”

 

 

 

** Later that evening **

 

Raven pushed Clarke out of the way as she flung her arms around the smaller girl, embracing her into a hug. “Good god O, you grew up!”

 

Octavia laughed, and welcomed the two girls into her apartment.

 

Octavia’s apartment reminded Clarke of the Octavia she knew growing up. Everything was earthy, and it immediately felt like a home rather than a house. There was artwork all over the apartment, hanging in frames and some just on a canvas. Ceramic art situated neatly around the apartment, in a deeply thought-out way.

 

“Clarke!” Both Raven and Octavia yelled in unison, snapping the poor girl out of her daze as she casually looked at the artwork hanging on the walls.  
  
  
“What?” She playfully snapped back.

 

“Red or white?” Octavia asked.

 

Clarke paused for a moment considering not drinking tonight, but then the door opened and she saw Lexa looking delicious in her presumably professional wear. “Red.” She finally let out with a gasp.

 

Lexa smiled at Clarke, as she walked with purpose to where Octavia and Raven were standing. She greeted Octavia with a kiss to the cheek, as she was introduced to Raven. Clarke watched as the girl, no woman, stood there with confidence much the same as she did last night.

 

 _Confidence. Sexy fucking confidence_. Clarke muttered to herself.

 

“And you remember Clarke” Octavia said gesturing to the blonde who cautiously stood still.

 

“How could I forget?” Lexa replied. Almost flirtatiously Clarke hoped.

 

Clarke joined the three girls around the kitchen island benchtop, taking a sip from her wine glass. She observed the three girls in conversation, however paid little to no attention. Her entire being was enthralled by the aura of Lexa, rather. Until it dawned on her that Lexa let herself into Octavia’s apartment.

 

 _Shit._ She thought. _Octavia and Lexa?_

“So, Octavia” Clarke began, “This is a nice apartment. Do you live alone?”

 

Raven slapped the blonde’s arm to Clarke’s vocal protest. “You can’t just ask a girl if she lives alone.”

 

Clarke slapped Raven’s arm in return, “Why not?”

 

“I see you two are still as competitive as ever.” Octavia laughed at the squabbling pair. “This isn’t actually my apartment. It’s Lexa’s.”

 

Clarke’s breathing began to fasten. _Shit. Shit Shit._ And she took another sip of her wine.

 

“This must cost you a shit load” Raven said facing Lexa.

 

“You can’t just-” Clarke began

 

Raven shushed her. “I can, and I did.”

 

“I’m just staying here for a little while” Octavia interjected. “I had a bad break up and Lexa was kind enough to offer me the spare room.”

 

_Phew._

“And since her girlfriend is out of town pretty much all the time…”

 

 _Wait, what?_  
  
Whatever Octavia said next, Clarke didn’t hear. Instead her thoughts went back to last night, and the moment they shared in the bathroom. _Yikes, the bathroom._ Of course Clarke initiated the kiss, but she could have sworn Lexa shared that same longing stare, that same look of want that escaped her own eyes. Or maybe she just made the whole thing up in her head, especially now just realising that it was Lexa who broke away. _Fuck_.

 

 

** Almost midnight **

 

As Clarke exited the bathroom, she noticed one of the paintings hanging up in the hallway. She knew it was Octavia’s, because she gave it to the girl. It was one of her own.

 

“It’s really quite a lovely drawing, Clarke” Lexa appeared seemingly out of nowhere. Her eyes focused on the painting, as she spoke, rather than Clarke.

 

“I can’t believe O kept it.” There was a softness to Clarke’s voice, maybe even a hint of despair.

 

“Why does this surprise you, Clarke?”

 

The way Lexa spoke her name, continually so, had a noticeable effect. But she held still, not breaking her own gaze from her own work. “I’m not sure what O’s told you, but”

 

Lexa nodded, “Bellamy.”

 

Clarke returned the nod.

 

Lexa turned to face Clarke. “The past is the past, Clarke. We mustn’t let it get in the way of the present.” She smiled a soft and sweet smile at the girl before her, gently brushing over her forearm.

 

She froze at the touch. The hairs on her arms had raised, and her heart beat once more raced this same race again. Clarke’s body sending her one message, while her brain sent her another. “Lexa” was the only word that escaped her mouth.

 

“Clarke” Lexa heavily breathed out, as the other girl now faced her.

 

They both looked at each others lips, then darted back up to each others eyes. Lexa licked her lips first, and Clarke mimicked shortly after. Clarke could tell with every bone in her body, and ever beat of her heart, that this girl in front of her wanted to kiss her. Her eyes were hungry, and her mouth was dry. She wanted, no needed, to feel this other person’s lips upon her own.

 

“I can’t” Lexa broke away from their moment.

 

Clarke internally screamed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You like this! You really like this!
> 
> I have an update, but it'll probably be my last update for a few weeks. I'm off overseas on Sunday, for three weeks. I'm going to try and write another chapter (or two) before then, but until now I hope you enjoy this update. Let's see what happens from here :D

Clarke’s phone was vibrating again. The thirteenth time that day, from the same number she had been ignoring for the past two days. _Octavia_. Clarke thought for sure that Octavia was trying to call her to yell at her for making a pass at her boss, Lexa. _Lexa_. She stared down at the vibrating phone, and cursed herself repeatedly.

 

It was a Tuesday night, which meant Clarke was at the library downtown about to start her reading session to the kids. It was a volunteer job that she did on Tuesday and Thursday nights. Clarke always felt more satisfaction from the two nights a week she read to kids, then she did about anything else.

 

“What?” she answered abruptly at the fourteenth time Octavia called.

 

By now, the other people in the library were all glaring at the young blonde woman, and Clarke was doing her best to shuffle through the tables of people to the outside balcony. And after all of her worry and panic about Lexa telling Octavia what a crazy horny person she is, all Octavia wanted was to know when they could all have dinner or drinks again. Of course Clarke tried her hardest to brush her off, to no avail though. So she settled for Friday night drinks, and agreed to meet Octavia and bring Raven along.

 

There was no mention of Lexa. _Thank god_.

 

As she sat herself down into her usual spot in the library, there were already a couple of kids and parents waiting for her. She saw a lot of familiar faces, which always gave Clarke warm fuzzy feelings, and then she saw some first-timers, and then out of nowhere she saw Lexa.

 

_Fucking fuck_.

 

“Hi Clarke” the familiar face said, with a kid in tow that Clarke hadn’t seen until this moment. “What a surprise.”

 

“Uncanny even” the blonde bitterly responded with a sudden wave of rejected flashbacks engulfing her body. “What are you doing here?”

 

“I could ask you the same thing.”

 

“I asked first.”

 

Lexa smiled politely, although the tension in the air was certainly profound. Clarke could sense there was more than a moment of hesitation in her voice, and even in her stance, until finally Lexa looked down to the boy standing beside her, “This is Aden.”

 

“Hi Aden” Clarke smiled a toothy grin at the boy. He couldn’t have been more than ten or eleven years old. _Is he hers?_

Aden quickly ducked behind Lexa as if she were his protector, poking his head out slightly to return Clarke’s smile.

 

Clarke pulled a book from her bag, “Have you read Matilda before, Aden?”

 

Aden shook his head, still hiding behind Lexa.

 

“It’s one of my favorite’s. A book about a girl who one day finds out she has a magical power.”

 

“It’s one of my favorite’s too” Lexa revealed.

 

This caught Clarke by surprise. She noticed a fragility about this girl standing opposite her. Lexa was always so commanding, but in this moment she was vulnerable. “Well, you two better come and join my reading group.”

 

 

** An hour later **

 

Clarke put down her copy of Matilda, to the groans and grumbles of everyone who wanted her to continue – Aden included. Every Tuesday and Thursday, at this time, Clarke would get a smile, a thank-you and sometimes even a hug from everyone who attended her reading session – and this time, Lexa included.

 

“You’re captivating, Clarke” Lexa acknowledged until suddenly realizing what she said. “I mean, you read with such zest.”

  
“Well, thank you Lexa.” Clarke replied. “What about you Aden, did you enjoy that?” She turned to the boy, crouching down to his level.

 

The boy nodded which melted Clarke’s heart a little. A genuine and heartfelt smile arose, and Clarke lifted herself back up to Lexa. “I should go.”

 

“Wait!” Lexa yelled reaching for Clarke’s wrist but somehow ended up with her fingers intertwining into Clarke’s. “We should go for ice cream.”

 

Clarke was too taken aback at the feeling of Lexa’s hand in her own, even if it was mistakenly. Her head wanted to run away, but her body was betraying her and instead nodding at Lexa’s command.

 

Lexa led both Clarke and Aden to the ice cream parlor one block away. It was mainly Lexa asking Aden questions on what type of Ice Cream he was going to have, on the way there. Clarke, on the other hand, was having a serious talk to herself – mentally slapping her body for betraying her mind.

  
_Damn you feelings_.

 

Clarke found a booth for the three of them to sit at, while Lexa gave Aden money to order the ice cream’s with.

 

“So-”

 

“He’s not mine, Clarke” Lexa immediately cut-in.

 

Clarke nodded, “Your-”

 

“Not hers either” Lexa again interrupted.

 

“Then-”  
  
“Aden is my brother.”

 

“Oh.” It was all that came out of Clarke’s mouth. “He’s-”  
  
“Got issues.”

 

“Are you going to let me speak, or are you going to keep cutting me off every time?”

 

Lexa looked at Clarke apologetically, “Sorry.”

 

“It’s okay, I’d just like to be part of this conversation too.” Clarke teased, softening the moment between the two.

 

Clarke turned to see where Aden was, until noticing he was now at the front of the line. Lexa’s eyes also following to see, then blue eyes fell upon green eyes – Clarke’s eyes met Lexa’s eyes – once more.

 

“Clarke”

 

“Lexa” the blonde sighed a sense of de ja vu.

 

“Come home with me.”

 

 

** Later that evening **

****

There were four new things that Clarke learned that evening.

 

The first thing was Lexa and Aden had different fathers. She learnt that when they all walked back to the library after ice cream, and waited for Aden’s dad to pick him up. Lexa had, in her serious adult voice, debriefed Clarke that her mother had remarried when her dad passed away.

 

That was the second thing she learned. Lexa’s dad passed away when she was only a baby. This broke Clarke’s heart a little, but it was also something she found herself relating with, revealing to Lexa that her own father had passed away.

 

The third thing she learnt was that Lexa’s mom had passed away last year, and since her death, Aden hadn’t spoken. He had become mute.

 

That was four things Clarke learnt that evening.

 

“Aden is special” Lexa said as she opened her refrigerator. “Water or Beetroot, apple and mint juice?”

 

“Beetroot what now?” Clarke was dumbfounded.

 

Lexa shrugged, “Octavia is on a cleanse.”

 

“I think the safest option here is water.”

 

Lexa poured two glasses of water, and sat down beside Clarke who was in the living room on the sofa.

 

“Where’s O?” Clarke nervously asked, after taking a huge sip of water (possibly to calm her nerves).

 

Lexa, however, remained calm and composed. “Still at work. But, she’s on a mission.”

 

“Mission?” Clarke was intrigued. “To do what?”

 

“To do _who_ , more like it” Lexa slightly laughed. “She’s been eyeing off this boy for a while, and apparently tonight is the night.”

 

Clarke took another giant sip of her water, almost finishing it this time. “So, we’re alone?”

 

Lexa nodded, “All alone.”

 

_Oh boy_.

 

Lexa put her water down on the glass coffee table in front of her. She shifted herself closer to Clarke, and turned to face her. Clarke couldn’t look at her, however. She wanted to remain strong. But when Lexa lifted Clarke’s chin, and her head to have her green eyes meet Clarke’s blue again, Clarke saw that vulnerability.

 

She saw it when Lexa spoke about Aden. She saw it when she spoke about her losses. And she could see it now. In that moment, Clarke realized that whatever moment they shared on their first meeting – wasn’t just in Clarke’s head. It was a real moment. The same real moment they shared the other night looking at Clare’s painting, and the same moment they’re sharing now.

 

It was a moment of Lexa’s vulnerability, and perhaps emphasized Clarke’s too.

 

Lexa leaned in and kissed Clarke.

 

Clarke learned another thing. Every time her lips have met Lexa’s, it sets off internal fireworks. It sends warm flushed feelings throughout her entire body. The pit of her stomach clenches and melts in the same millisecond. She feels the softness of the other girl, through her lips, her touch, even her soul and it sends Clarke into a spin. A head spin.

 

And when Lexa moans into Clarke’s mouth?

 

_Fuck. Fucking fuck of a fucking fuck_.

 

“Take me to bed” Clarke declares, or demands, she’s not quite sure which of the two.

 

Lexa looks at her with a sadness “I-”

 

“Can’t.” Clarke finishes.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this just happened :) I'll try to update one more time before I leave.

“Clarke!” Octavia stood and waved Clarke over at the bar. It was Friday night and Clarke and Octavia had arranged to meet up at a bar close to where Octavia works. What Octavia didn’t know was that Clarke had been nervously pacing around for the last 55 minutes, deciding on whether or not she should enter the bar. “Where’s Raven?”

 

“She’ll be here soon.” Clarke responded as she took a seat next to Octavia. She looked around at the other patrons who all seemed to be wearing the exact same $1000 suit. It was definitely a _Wall-Street_ bar.

 

Octavia hailed the bartender over and ordered two martinis. “So Clarke, there’s been something I’ve been meaning to ask you.”

 

“I kissed your boss” Clarke blurted out. There was a sense of relief, but that added out with immediate panic and regret in her composure. The bartender had placed her martini on the counter, and Clarke (without thinking) drank it all in one sip. Pure alcohol. She noticed Octavia’s jaw had slightly dropped, but yet she still remained expressionless.

 

“I see.” Octavia took a slow and steady sip of her martini. “When?”

 

“That night at the restaurant,” Clarke hesitantly admitted. “And then at dinner.” Clarke wanted to look anywhere but at the smaller girl next to her, who felt extremely taller than her in this moment. But her sheepish eyes caught Octavia’s and regret suddenly loomed. “And Tuesday night.”

 

“Tuesday?” Octavia quickly asked.

 

Clarke nodded. “I ran into her and Aden at the library.”

 

“You’ve met her brother?”

 

The blonde nodded again.

 

“Clarke, I don’t know what she’s told you but you can’t mess around with her.” Octavia was quiet when she spoke, but her eyes never once left Clarke’s wanting the blonde to realize how serious she was.

 

“Is this because of Bellamy?” It was the first time, in a long time, Clarke mentioned the B word. And the second his name came out of her mouth, she wanted to crawl into a corner somewhere and curl up in the foetal position.

 

Octavia’s jaw clenched and her face reddened. “Bellamy has nothing to do with this!” She sneered. The two girls sat in silence for a moment, neither daring to look at the other. There was a stillness in the air, and the other patron’s ceased to exist. Octavia softened, somewhat, and placed her hand on top of Clarke’s. “Lexa isn’t just my boss Clarke, she’s my friend.”

 

Clarke felt the warmth of Octavia’s hand on top of her own. Her thumb brushing against her skin. It was comforting, soothing even, and Clarke relaxed into this moment. “We keep having these moment’s O.” Clarke revealed. “Do you hate me?” She asked, her eyes more so than her voice.

 

“I don’t hate you, but…” she was looking to find the right words to say. “I need to know _it_ ends now.”

 

Clarke was hesitant. She didn’t want it to end, yet she knew it had to. Of course it had to, Lexa had a girlfriend. Nothing more was ever going to come from whatever crazy moment they had. Nothing. It had to end, and Clarke knew it in her soul and she knew it in her heart.

 

But she didn’t know how to say ‘okay’ to Octavia. Instead it brought her back to a time and place where Clarke Griffin was madly in love with Bellamy Blake, Octavia’s older brother. Bellamy was the same age as Clarke, and they had known each other since they were in the womb. Their mothers had been best friends, so when they were expecting (one week after the other) it was fate that Clarke and Bellamy would end up being in each other’s life.

 

Bellamy made Clarke cry over a hundred times. The usual boy meets girl and pushes her over in the sandpit story because, as her mother said, “He likes you.” Clarke believed that story all of her childhood, and the harder Bellamy pushed (literally) the more he liked her (clearly). So when, one day, when they were 13 and Bellamy kissed her on the cheek, Clarke beamed and did her famous “I told you so” dance. And when they were 16, he didn’t just kiss her on the cheek anymore.

 

When she lost her father, Bellamy was her shoulder to cry on and the arms to pick her back up again. Clarke even stayed in their home town, and went to art school (even though better colleges had accepted her application) because Bellamy was her one true love. Clarke knew she was going to spend the rest of her life with Bellamy Blake.

 

_I need to know it ends now_. The words echoed in Clarke’s head.

 

Needless to say it was a devastating surprise when Clarke overheard these same words when Octavia was yelling them at her brother Bellamy about a girl he had kissed (who wasn’t Clarke).

 

“Clarke?” Octavia clicked her fingers in front of Clarke’s face. “Did you hear me?”

 

Clarke snapped out of her daze and blankly nodded in agreement to whatever Octavia was saying.

 

** Later that evening **

The tension had well and truly blown over since Raven arrived, although Clarke was still trying to put on a brave face. She hadn’t had to face her feelings about Bellamy in a long time, and suddenly her heart was trying to tell her to escape (while her head was telling her to drink on).

 

“Earth to Clarke” Raven sang. “I asked if you wanted another drink.”

 

Clarke smiled and nodded. She turned to scan the room to see where Octavia was, and caught her on the dance floor with some guy she hadn’t seen or noticed until now.

 

“You’re being weird” Raven said matter-of-factly.

 

“I told O about Lexa”

 

Raven rolled her eyes, “What did you do that for?”

 

“I panicked” Clarke defended. It was true, she hadn’t expected to blurt out that she made out with Octavia’s boss. It just happened. And now Clarke was lost in her own thoughts, and feelings.

 

“Well, what did she say?”

 

The bartender came by with the next two drinks, and Clarke quickly took a sip from her glass. “She made me promise that whatever this is, I end it.”

 

“Hey bichheeezzzzzz” Octavia slurred as she stumbled into Clarke’s lap. “Clarkey, why you so pretty Clarkey Clarke!”

 

Both Raven and Clarke laughed at the sight of a drunken Octavia. A sight, in which, had never been seen before.

 

“O you’re drunk” Clarke teased. “And I’m not nearly drunk enough for this”

 

“Clarkeyyyy, I have to tell you something but you can’t tell anyone I told you” Octavia yelled, and slurred, but mostly yelled-slurred.

 

Clarke silenced Octavia, “Whatever you have to tell me, now is not the time.”

 

“But Clarke!” Octavia yelled-slurred some more. “You broke my heart.”

 

Clarke was confused. As was Raven.

 

“You broke up with my stupid idiot brother Bellamyfuckface but you didn’t have to break up with me too!” She really struggled spitting out the word Bellamy. Even if he was her brother.

 

Clarke’s face suddenly dropped. Her whole body dropped, really. She not only ended it with Bellamy, but she hadn’t seen Octavia for almost ten years. And although Bellamy and Clarke were inseparable throughout the years, Clarke adored Octavia. She was the little sister she never had. A flash of memories hit Clarke right in the face with a MACK truck. She was too young to remember Octavia being born, but the stories her mother shared about how Clarke couldn’t take her eyes off Octavia, still melted her today. And when Octavia lost her first tooth, she ran to Clarke in excitement before her parents. And when the boy at school teased Octavia, she only let Clarke see her tears (not before pushing the boy over though).

 

Octavia was right. Clarke did break her heart.

 

And that broke Clarke’s.

 

She quickly got up and dashed for the exit. Clarke couldn’t take any more emotions tonight.

 

 

** Just after midnight **

Clarke was tossing and turning in bed. She attempted to count sheep, and at one point got to 175, before deciding it wasn’t working. She even moved to the sofa, then back to her bed, then back to the sofa again, before settling back into her bed. Raven had text her a few times to check-in, but mostly let Clarke know she was going to make sure Octavia got home safely.

 

Her phone lit up. _Message from Raven probably._

**  
(Unknown 12:32am)** Are you okay? – L 

_  
Lexa?_

**Clarke:** Lexa?

 

**(Unknown 12:32am)** How many L’s do you know?

 

Clarke rolled her eyes, and shook her head.

 

**(Unknown 12:33am)** But, yes. It’s Lexa. Did I wake you?

 

She didn’t know whether or not she should respond so quickly, or even at all. After all she made a promise to Octavia. But she couldn’t sleep, and could use the distraction.

 

**C:** Couldn’t sleep. How did you get my number?

**L:** Can I call you?

 

Clarke hesitated. And when she hesitated (and did things she was not supposed to do) she chewed on her bottom lip, and the strands of hair that sometimes fell into her mouth. Before she could respond, though, Lexa was calling.

 

“I see you didn’t need a response?” Clarke answered (and asked)

 

_‘You took too long to respond Clarke’_

 

“So how did you get my number?” Clarke rolled over to face her windows.

 

_‘I have my ways Clarke’_

 

Clarke groaned and rolled back onto her back, flicking the sheets off of her legs.

 

_‘Raven gave me your number. She said you might need a friendly ear’_

 

“I told Octavia I kissed you, and then she got drunk and told me I broke her heart because I left her and her stupid brother all of those years ago” Clarke recounted the earlier events of the night.

 

There was silence. And Clarke thought that maybe they lost the connection, or that Lexa had hung up. “Lexa?”

 

_‘I’m still here Clarke’_

 

“Lexa” Clarke paused, “I’m sorry I kissed you.”

 

_‘You have nothing to be sorry for Clarke, I kissed you back’_

 

“We can’t do whatever this is anymore” Clarke repeated Octavia’s words.

 

More silence, and Clarke rolled back to face the window. She marvelled at how bright the moon was on this particular evening. And how quiet everything seemed to be around her. It was soothing, and calming, and even relaxing. Finally there was a peacefulness in the air.

 

_‘Clarke, I ended it with Costia.’_

 

Silence.

 

_‘Clarke?’_

 

Silence.

 

Clarke had already fallen asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this is my last chapter before I leave for three weeks. And I thought I'd leave it on a bit of a cliffhanger. Thank you EVERYONE for your Kudos, Comments, Bookmarks and giving this a chance. ALSO, how good is this season of The 100? Seriously!

The sun was beaming brightly through Clarke’s window, causing the girl to stir and groan. When she opened an eye, she was startled to see Raven’s eyes staring directly back at her.  
  
“So, you’re not dead?” Raven poked out her tongue

 

Clarke grumbled, “Eh?”

 

“It’s, like, midday Clarke and I’m hungry!” Raven complained.

 

Clarke had slept for almost twelve hours, and with her phone in her hand. The last thing she remembered was talking to Lexa, and looking at how the moon lit up the skyline so brightly. And then darkness. Now she had Raven staring at her. “Let me sleep.”

 

Raven jumped onto the other side of Clarke, “Nope. We’re going to the Farmer’s Market. And we have company!”

 

Clarke pulled the pillow from under her head and buried her face in it. “Let me sleep!” She muffled through her pillow.

 

“Clarke!” Octavia yelled from Clarke’s bedroom door. “If you do not get up in the next five minutes I will be forced to drag you out of there.”

 

The blonde peered from her pillow, “O? What are you doing here?”

 

“I told you, we have company” Raven butted in. “And Lexa’s here too.”

 

“Fiiiiiine” Clarke whined, “But I just want everyone to know how unhappy I am about all of this.”

 

Octavia and Raven shook their heads and giggled, almost in unison.

 

 

** Earlier that morning **

 

 

“How’s your head?” Lexa asked as she entered Octavia’s room with Tylenol, water and Octavia’s concoction of beetroot-apple-mint juice.

 

Octavia groaned, but rose quickly to take the Tylenol from Lexa’s hand and downed it quickly with her famous beetroot, apple & mint juice. “Where’s Raven?”

 

“Making herself quite at home on the sofa.” Lexa sat down beside Octavia on her bed. “Do you remember much of last night?”

 

Octavia shrugged, “I didn’t try to kiss you did I?”

 

“God no,” Lexa laughed. “But you said a few things to Clarke last night.”

 

“Why do you care?” She snapped, until suddenly feeling guilty. “Sorry.”

 

Lexa sighed. She didn’t want to have this conversation with Octavia, especially since the younger girl was suffering a hangover and probably feeling overwhelmed enough. But she knew Octavia, and sometimes she needed a good kick up the ass.

 

“I’ve known you for, what, almost 4 years? And for a good portion of that, you’ve been a pain in my ass. So you can either talk to me about this, or not. But either way, you’re going over to Clarke’s and apologising for telling her she can’t see me anymore.”

 

“I didn’t say she couldn’t see you.” Octavia interjected. “I told her to end this” she waved her hands frantically in the air, “thing!”

 

“This” Lexa emphasized as she rubbed at her temples, “is really none of your business.”

 

“It is my business Lexa” Octavia harshly reiterated. “I only just got Clarke back in my life, and I don’t plan on losing her again.”

 

Lexa heard Octavia’s voice shake when she uttered those words. She knew what Clarke had meant to her, about 48 hours after she met Octavia. Octavia was always very brutally honest, and had limited filter. She was candid, and Lexa admired that about her. She also had a way of entering your life, and becoming your best friend with little to no say. Not that Lexa minded, of course. So after Lexa’s first big loss in court, Octavia got her drunk and they sat sprawled out in Lexa’s office. Octavia was very candid that night, while Lexa remained tight-lipped about her own life.

 

“So that’s what this is about?” Lexa asked. She held Octavia’s hand this time, rubbing the outside affectionately. “You think if Clarke and I started dating, and broke up, you would lose her again?”

 

Octavia simply nodded.

 

Lexa paused as she took in this new information. “So, you think I have a chance with Clarke?” Lexa cheekily asked, and Octavia playfully swatted her arm.

 

“Well you two do keep kissing…apparently” Octavia rolled her eyes. “What about Costia?”

 

“I ended it.”

 

“Again?”

 

Lexa nodded.

 

This time Octavia held Lexa’s hand. “Is this because of Clarke?” she asked.

 

“I thought I could do it this time, you know?” Octavia hugged Lexa from behind, and Lexa stroked the girl’s arm. “Every time she comes back from god knows where, she makes all of these promises, and every time she doesn’t follow through. Then I don’t hear from her for weeks, and I can’t keep living like this.”

 

“So you actually ended it?”

 

“On her voicemail.”

 

“Ouch” Octavia slipped out, “I mean, well, you know what I mean.”

 

“I shouldn’t have kissed Clarke, I know it was the wrong thing to do” Lexa admitted, “But there is something so magnetic and candescent about her. It’s like an out of body experience where I can actually see myself getting swept up by her, and I completely come undone.”

 

Octavia released her grip from Lexa, and swung around beside her. She gave Lexa a knowing look, but she also felt a touch of sadness. “My brother used to say something similar.”

 

Lexa looked at Octavia a little broken by that comment, but as soon as Octavia saw the fragility in Lexa’s eyes, she gave her a reassuring look.

 

“I’m not your brother. I’m not Bellamy.” Lexa retorted.

 

“Well, look at this cosy little moment”

 

Octavia and Lexa darted their eyes towards Raven who was now standing at the doorway with a smirk on her face.

 

“How much of that did you hear?” Lexa nervously asked. Being nervous wasn’t something Lexa was familiar with.

 

“Something about you not being Bellamy” Raven replied, “Which, thank god for that!”

 

Lexa was relieved.

 

“And also you want to have babies with my best friend” Raven added with a toothy grin.

 

_Busted._

“You can’t-”

 

“Relax Lexa” Raven said. “I’m not going to tell Clarke. This is not something I want to get in the middle of.” Raven walked closer to the girl, and looked her dead in the eye. “But if you hurt her, I know people who can make you disappear.” She said calmly and with all seriousness.

 

Octavia giggled, and joined Raven leaving Lexa sitting on the bed feeling a lot of firsts. Nervous. Worry. Distress.

 

_Damn you Clarke Griffin._

 

 

** Later that afternoon (at the Farmer’s Market) **

Clarke, Raven, Octavia, and Lexa had spent the better part of the afternoon slowly walking around each stall at the Farmer’s Market. Octavia made a point to stop at each fresh produce stall to smell the fresh vegies, herbs, and fruit as she explained to her friends (in thorough detail) which products flush out the system and cleanse your body. Meanwhile, Clarke and Lexa only half paid attention, distracted by stolen glances each girl shared, yet thought neither (nor anyone) could see. Raven, however, continued to roll her eyes – at everyone (and everything).

 

Octavia and Raven walked ahead, while Clarke and Lexa stopped to watch a man break coconuts. He poured the fresh coconut juice into a paper cup, and handed it over to Lexa.

 

“I love the taste of coconut”

 

Clarke looked at her with her unimpressed face, “Are you going to share that?”

 

Lexa looked back towards Clarke, and smiled. “Not in this lifetime Griffin.” She said smugly, taking the last sip.

 

She raised her brown, and leant closer into the other woman, hovering towards her ear. “I’ll remember that” Clarke softly whispered.

 

It sent shivers down Lexa’s body.

 

They continued on to catch up with Raven and Octavia, who were now at a coffee stall ordering coffee beans.

 

“So about last night” Lexa began.

 

“Mm? What about last night?” The blonde queried, until suddenly she (literally) ran into a familiar face. “Flynn?”

 

Finn took a step back, “Hi Clarke.”

 

“Planning for an apocalyptic attack?” Clarke asked as she saw Finn carrying several bags with fresh produce, and other items.

 

Finn chuckled slightly, “Something like that, I suppose. And you?”

 

“Oh you know, just forcibly removed from my bed to walk around at a slow pace in this god awful heat, while my friends plot to kill me and bury my body somewhere in the desert.” Clarke nonchalantly replied.

 

“Uh” Finn didn’t quite know what to say, although he didn’t really understand the concept of sarcasm apparently. “I see.”

 

Lexa softly laughed to herself at the awkward exchange of small talk, but she was fascinated (all the same) with the quite wit and dry humour of one Clarke Griffin. She had a way with words.

 

“I was wondering” Finn paused, nervously twiddling his thumbs, “Um, would you kind of maybe want to go and have dinner?”

 

“I kind of always want to have dinner” Clarke quick-wittedly responded.

 

“Oh, right, yeah” Finn mumbled, realizing he forgot to add the ‘with me’ part into his question. “Would you want to have dinner with me again?”

 

Clarke knew exactly what Finn was trying to say, the first time, but she didn’t know how to respond. She quickly noticed how Lexa remained calm, and as if Clarke being asked out on a date had no effect on her. Why would it? And although Finn was probably the most boring person she’s ever been on a date with, maybe he was just nervous. Maybe he would end up being the love of her life. Or maybe, for now, she would just give him a second chance and see what happens from there. After all, she could only be turned down by Lexa so many times before she said fuck it.

 

“Sure. I’d like that”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! I'm also still very upset (as we all are) about the show (Lexa deserved so much better!). But here's the next installment, and apologies that it is just a small update.

“Clarke Griffin!” Raven yelled from the other side of their apartment. “I absolutely forbid you to follow through on this date tonight!”

 

“You’re not the boss of me!” Clarke responded, “Besides you set me up with him in the first place.”

 

Raven grunted in exasperation, “You don’t even like him, so why are you doing this?”

 

It was a reasonable question, Clarke knew that. After all, her date with Finn had been a bore-fest disaster, so why was she all of a sudden agreeing to a second date. _Lexa_. “It’s just dinner, Raven. Besides, I need a night out with no drama.”

 

“Fine” Raven huffed, admittedly defeated by her friend’s reasoning. As much as she wanted to tell Clarke about what she overheard in Lexa’s apartment a week earlier, she knew it wasn’t her place, and it wasn’t like Clarke was going to suddenly fall madly in love with Finn. _Was she?_ “No sex on the first date!” she yelled out again.

 

Clarke rolled her eyes, “Technically, this is the second date. And, gross. Not gonna happen.”

 

Raven knew all too well that ‘not gonna happen’ was more like ‘probably will happen’. _Fuck_.

 

 

** Later that night **

 

“So Clarke, tell me more about the volunteering you do” Finn asked enthusiastically.

 

Clarke was mortified. Not by having to tell the boy about the things that mean the most to her, but that the boy – Finn – was not the same Finn from the first night she met him. This Finn was completely different. He was charming, he was attentive and always asking Clarke about her interests and listening (really listening) to Clarke’s answers. But the most shocking part was – he was actually somewhat funny.

 

_Who is this guy and what happened to the real Finn?_

“Oh it’s nothing really” Clarke found herself shyly replying with. _Wait, Clarke wasn’t shy. What is this guy doing to me?_ “My Dad always used to read to me, even when I wasn’t a ‘kid’ anymore. I always felt comfort in him reading to me, so I guess that’s why I do this.” Clarke paused to take another sip of her wine.

 

Finn nodded and smiled at the girl, “I think it’s wonderful.”

 

Clarke returned the boy’s smile. “So, do you have any hobbies Finn? Snorkelling? Stamp collecting? Hacking government agencies Snowden style?”

 

Finn chuckled, “You have a way with words Griffin.”

 

“And you have a way with not answering questions, Collins.” Clarke mischievously flirted back.

 

Finn leaned forward and placed his hand on top of Clarkes, “I like to ski” he responded in a low, almost hushed toned. “And I like you.”

 

_Butterflies. Fuck._

“Do you want to get out of here?” Clarke asked. Although, it wasn’t really a question when she already knew this answer. And whatever Clarke felt about this current turn of events, she would deal with in the morning. But for right now, this felt right.

 

This was her way out from under her Lexa spell.

 

 

** The next morning **

Clarke suddenly woke up to an alarm going off, and as she rolled over in the unfamiliar bed she saw the LED light on the alarm clock displaying 05:00. She rolled her eyes immediately, whilst repeatedly mumbling words like ‘what kind of time is this’ and ‘who in their right minds needs to wake up at the crack of dawn’. The alarm was silenced, and Clarke thanked the gods internally before rolling back over to the naked body lying beside her.

 

Sudden flashbacks from the night before crept over her, and she couldn’t help but smile at the memories. But there was also a sadness, as well. She felt a growing realisation of just how naked she was (more so metaphorically, although definitely physically) and then she realised she needed to leave. She needed to go back to the sanctuary of her own home and process everything that happened.

The date that left her speechless and the bed she woke up in.

 

Clarke tried to quietly shuffle her way off and out of the bed she found herself in. Looking for her clothes that seemed to be thrown every which way. She found her bra, and even her underwear – but where the hell was her dress?

 

She opened the bedroom door and, yep – there it was. On the sofa, where the intense make-out session had started. Again, another smile at the memory. And then sadness again.

 

Clarke thought about leaving a note, but she decided that she would send a text a little later on. It was the safest option, she justified to herself. Or maybe she wouldn’t even send a text after all, and this is precisely the reason why Clarke Griffin needed to exit stage left immediately. For all the worrying, and the overwhelming feelings, were clearly going to get her into trouble.

 

She opened the front door, and sighed.

 

“Clarke?”

 

Clarke turned around sheepishly, and smiled. “Hi.”

 

“What are you doing here?”

 

“Octavia, go back to bed.”

 

Octavia looked the girl up and down, and gave Clarke a once-over. “I’m getting ready for work. Now answer my question. What are you doing here?”

 

“She spent the night with me, Octavia” Lexa spoke from her bedroom door. “Now if we’re all done pointing out the obvious here, I need a coffee.”

 

Clarke blushed. She knew she was caught red handed sneaking out of the apartment of the girl she went home with. The girl who happened to not be Finn Collins – the boy she was on a date with.

 

_Oh boy._

 

And this was exactly why Clarke Griffin needed to escape now, so she could clearly process the night that ended up with her waking up in Lexa’s bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the next chapter we will find out how THAT happened :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to wait to post this chapter - but, I think you all deserve some answers. PS I love reading your comments and I will always try to reply to them all :)

“Wait. Rewind, what?” Raven asked, clearly confused by recent events.

 

Clarke had attempted to stealthily sneak back into her apartment after the awkwardness that was Lexa and Octavia’s apartment some 47 minutes and 24 seconds ago, however as soon as she opened the door Raven was waiting with her arms crossed and a ‘please-fucking-explain’ look on her face.

 

“Well-”

 

“You slept with Lexa?” Raven interrupted.

 

Clarke simply nodded.

 

“And this was after you had a date with Finn?”

 

Again, Clarke could only nod.

 

“Who you were about to go home with?”

 

Clarke spiced things up a little, and shrugged this time.

 

“And then you ran into Lexa?”

 

There it is. There’s that nod again. That famous Clarke-has-been-busted nod.

 

“Who you then proceeded to bump uglies with?”

 

Clarke looked confused, “Bump uglies?”

 

“You know, adult naptime? Dialling O on the pink telephone? The good old Lip Service? Any of these ringing any bells Clarke?”

 

“You’ve gone bloody mad Raven, please stop rambling” Clarke exasperated in sheer shock.

 

“YOU HAD SEX WITH LEXA!” Raven yelled, although somewhat too excitedly.

 

“Yes Raven. I had sex with Lexa.” Clarke replied. “I had really great fucking sex with Lexa, and now I feel like a shitty homewrecker.”

 

Raven sighed, and clearly Lexa had forgotten to tell Clarke about her new single-status. She closed her eyes and rubbed her temples briefly, before composing herself once more. “Clarke Griffin, you did nothing wrong. Do you hear me? Nothing.”

 

“You’re right” she conceded. “But…”

 

She rolled her eyes, “But, what?”

 

”I may have forgotten to mention something.”

 

Oh boy. This was going to be a long morning.

 

 

** 26 minutes and 47 seconds after dinner last night **

“So, this is my apartment” Finn stated somewhat nervously as he stood still outside of his front door. “Do you want to come up?”

 

Clarke laughed, although she hadn’t intended to laugh quite so loudly. And she didn’t want to confuse the boy into thinking she was laughing at him, more so than with him. “I thought that was the whole reason I was here” she winked.

 

He smiled, and linked his fingers through hers whilst somehow managing to open his front door.

 

Clarke entered Finn’s apartment which was small, but nice. It seemed homely, and automatically she felt a sense of comfort here. She casually strolled around as the boy went to the refrigerator to decide on his next move in what to offer for drink-wise.  She noticed a lot of photo’s hanging about of Finn with, what looked like, his family.

 

“Water?”

 

“Thanks” She replied, still casually looking at Finn’s decorated walls. As an artist, it spoke in volumes to Clarke what someone decorates their apartment with. And seeing that the majority of Finn’s apartment was photo’s, it meant that Finn likes holding onto memories, but more importantly he liked his family. And that brought a smile to Clarke.

 

“Do you want to sit?”

 

She nodded, and sat beside Finn on his sofa. It was fake leather, but Clarke didn’t seem to mind. He wasn’t pretentious, like she originally thought.

 

Finn was nervously moving about and couldn’t keep still. He had begun by playing with his fingers, obviously trying to keep them still (or focus on them rather than his real intentions), and then he went to patting his forehead (probably sweating at this point), but all that was ceased when Clarke slid closer and kissed him.

 

Their kiss lasted mere seconds before Finn and Clarke were taken aback by the sound of keys in his front door.

 

“Expecting someone?” Clarke asked, a little annoyed at the interruption.

 

Finn rolled his eyes. “I’m so sorry, I wasn’t expecting-”

 

“Bellamy?” Clarke was in shock. The boy that had broken her heart, all of those years ago, was suddenly back in her life in this precise moment, with the boy she had gone home with.

 

“You two know each other?” Finn was clearly confused.  


Clarke angrily got up off that sofa and stood directly in front of Bellamy. Her heart was palpitating – adrenaline maybe, confusion more so, but anger nonetheless. She had dreaded and waited for this day for years. She had often had conversations with herself, or with Raven, about what she would say to Bellamy if he was ever be in front of her again. Oftentimes ending with a big ole ‘Fuck you you fucking fuck,’ but now that it was happening she was speechless. So she did the only thing she could muster up the courage to do. She spat in his face before running off.

 

Clarke Griffin was 50 shades of done.

 

She dialed the only number she could think of to dial, in this very moment, and waited. She waited in silence. She waited in tears. But mostly, she waited in complete fucking anger.

 

 

** Lexa’s Apartment **

****

When Clarke Griffin is angry, Clarke Griffin does stupid things. Like call Lexa.  Which is how Clarke had suddenly found herself in Lexa’s apartment, sitting on her sofa, yelling. She was yelling about Finn, about Bellamy, about Octavia, about Raven, she was even yelling at Lexa about Lexa. It was like, everything Clarke had bottled up, was being released and Lexa was bearing the brunt of it all – not that she complained. Not once. Not even a little.

 

“Clarke”

 

“What?”

 

Clarke was defeated, and Lexa knew that. She could see it in her face, but she could hear it in her voice as well. Clarke needed comfort. She pulled Clarke into her, and held onto her tightly. “Everything will be alright, Clarke.”

 

She didn’t want to cry. She knew no-one, especially Bellamy Bloody Blake, deserved her tears. But she couldn’t hold onto it anymore, and started sobbing into Lexa’s arms. The feeling of a warm body encompassing her into a comfort embrace from someone who simply allowed Clarke to do, say, and feel openly in that moment, was all Clarke needed to unleash her tears.

 

So she cried.

 

And she cried some more.

 

And Lexa probably needed to change her shirt by now, because Clarke’s runny nose and tears now covered her. But that didn’t matter, she still held Clarke close.

 

Clarke broke from the embrace, and looked into the green eyes that always seemed to swallow her whole. She felt comfort, she felt sadness, and she felt lonelier than she had ever felt before, but she also felt something else. Something unexplainable. Maybe it was something she wasn’t ready to explain, or admit, but in that moment of rare vulnerability (and maybe it was the three glasses of wine she downed when Lexa brought her back to her apartment) but Clarke suddenly felt like she needed Lexa.

 

Their kiss was intense, and like nothing they had experienced with each other previously. Although, albeit, their three kisses to date had been gentle and soft, yet this new type of kiss was elicited with fire, or a burning fucking desire of need and want.

 

Lexa kept asking Clarke if this was what she wanted, and Clarke kept answering her with more intensity in her kisses. She wasn’t ready to answer that question, just yet. Maybe part of her knew she shouldn’t be doing this, but for right now – Lexa wasn’t pulling away, and Clarke was going with that.

 

Clarke pushed Lexa down onto the sofa, as she straddled her. She lifted her dress up over her head, and flung it behind her – leaving her exposed in just her bra and her underwear. Lexa’s knee shifted in between Clarke’s legs, causing her to let out a delighted moan.

 

“Fuck!” Clarke groaned “Bedroom. Now” she demanded.

 

Lexa led Clarke back to her bedroom, and as she closed her bedroom door, she pinned Clarke up against it. She looked into Clarke’s blue eyes, and although she could see the thirst and the hunger Clarke had, she also saw the pain. But Clarke was reading her mind, of course she was, and broke the lingering stare by kissing Lexa again.

 

“Don’t look into my soul” Clarke whispered.

 

_Not yet_ , she wanted to say but didn’t.

  
“Clarke, I have to tell you something”

 

Clarke silenced Lexa with another kiss. She removed her bra, and took off her underwear, and Lexa stood in complete silence. “Do you want me?”

 

Lexa nodded. She had wanted to say Yes Clarke. Yes I fucking want you. But Lexa was reduced to nodding, because Clarke took her breath away. And Lexa wanted Clarke Griffin. All of her.

 

“Then take me.”

 

It was all the permission Lexa needed before her own clothes had come off, and Clarke was underneath her in her bed. The blonde was panting, moaning and crying, and Lexa repeatedly whispered the words ‘I’m here’ in Clarke’s ear. With every thrust of Lexa’s fingers deep inside of Clarke, the blonde’s eyes had rolled into the back of her head. She no longer felt anything other than pure ecstasy; the emotion she desperately craved to feel. Lexa was inside of her. Lexa’s fingers – her amazing fucking fingers – were thrusting, pumping, and fucking her.

 

Clarke Griffin came several times that night, before she finally passed out in Lexa’s arms.

 

Lexa held her. She held her until she, herself, fell asleep.


	8. Chapter 8

It had been three weeks and four days, 17 hours and 12 seconds since Clarke had slept with Lexa (not that she was counting, or anything) and to help avoid the situation she found herself in, she buried herself in her work and the library. Raven had tried (several times) to talk to Clarke, and help her to open up about her feelings, but she knew Clarke needed the space, and time, to sort and process through her own feelings. But as the days went on, and then turned in weeks, Raven knew it was time for an intervention.

 

“Clarke!”

 

Clarke jumped from her seat, “Jesus Christ, Octavia” she reached for her heart, “I could have died!”

 

Octavia rolled her eyes, “Stop being dramatic” (there was a slight secondary meaning behind what Octavia said, and both girls knew it)

 

“What are you doing here?” Clarke questioned, although she hadn’t meant it to come out as rudely (or as harsh) as it had.

 

Octavia slumped her body into the chair next to Clarke. Raven had called her up and told her that Clarke would be at the library today, and that enough was enough. It was time Clarke re-joined civilization.

 

“We need to talk” she said matter-of-factly.

 

Clarke sighed. She knew this was coming; of course she knew this was coming. She had slept with Lexa, which was the one promise she made to Octavia that she broke. There was no way out of this conversation, and Clarke knew it.

 

“Fine, but go easy. I’m fragile” Clarke half jested.

 

Octavia smirked at her friend. “You’re the least fragile person I know.” She placed her hand on top of her friend and squeezed gently. “I didn’t know he was in town.”

 

Clarke was caught by surprise. She thought, for sure, she was going to chastise her about Lexa, but instead she was here to talk about her brother? “You wanted to talk about Bellamy?”

 

“No” Octavia quickly responded. “I prefer to call him Bel-lame”

 

Clarke chuckled softly, and Octavia smirked again. She loved her brother, truly she did, but growing up Clarke wasn’t just her brother’s girlfriend. To Octavia, Clarke was her sister. There were only so many things she could confide to her brother, but the important “girl things” required Clarke. And she looked up to Clarke. My god, did she look up to her.  When Octavia caught her brother kissing another girl, she knew it would devastate Clarke. And she knew that she, too, would lose Clarke. So even though she loved her brother, she hated him at the same time.

 

“I should have kept in contact with you O” Clarke whispered. Her eyes were watering, and she knew at any minute she was going to cry.

 

Octavia brought Clarke in to hug her. “Yes you should have” the smaller woman concurred, “But we’re here now, and I don’t want to lose you again.”

 

“You’re not going to lose me O”

 

Octavia broke away from the hug, “Promise?” She asked, almost hesitantly.

 

Clarke nodded her head, “Promise.”

 

“Then there’s something else I need to tell you...”

 

 

** An hour later… **

 

Clarke needed to go for a job. And Clarke never jogs. Like, ever.

 

But, a lot of thoughts were running through Clarke’s mind after Octavia told her about Lexa’s break-up. And a lot of the guilt, Clarke was feeling, had vanished almost instantaneously. Only to be replaced with a further million and one questions.

 

_Why didn’t Lexa tell me?_

 

She took her phone out from her back pocket, and stared at in ominously. She started scrolling through all the messages she hadn’t responded to: several from Octavia, even some from Raven. But there were no messages from Lexa. Not one.

 

Clarke had avoided everyone for the last few weeks, but now it was dawning on her that maybe that everyone didn’t include Lexa after all. And that maybe – just maybe – Lexa was avoiding her.

 

“Nope. No one avoids Clarke Griffin!” she muttered to a stray puppy. “Who’s a cutie-patootie?”

 

She dialed Lexa’s number – no answer, straight to voicemail. “It’s Clarke. Call me.”  Next, she dialled Octavia’s number. _Sigh, no answer._   “Octatron, it’s Clarke-tastrophe – thank you for today. I love you.” Clarke huffed, and was getting a little annoyed that no-one was picking up their phone. She decided to call the one person she absolutely, whole-heartedly, without a doubt, knew would pick up their phone – her mother.

 

“Fuck!” Clarke yelled, at hearing her mother’s voicemail. “Of all the bloody times to not pick up your phone mom! It’s Clarke, in case you didn’t know who this was was!”

 

At the end of the day Clarke knew she was only trying to distract herself from doing the one thing she wanted to do. She wanted to talk this through with someone – anyone – and get their approval (or disapproval) of that thing she wanted to do, so instead she tried one last person: Raven. _Voicemail_. “Gravy Ravey, it’s Clarkenstein. If you don’t call me back in the next 2 minutes, I’ll take that as your approval that I do something impulsive and silly. Ok bye.” Clarke pulled up the stopwatch app on her phone, and waited 2 whole minutes.

 

Raven didn’t call.

 

Which was all the approval she needed.

 

 

** A little while later… **

 

“Lexa will see you now” the older woman said politely.

 

When Clarke wants to do something silly and irrational, god forbid you get in her way as clearly everyone in the law firm Lexa worked at had quickly discovered. Clarke had found herself on the 18th floor of one of the high rises in the city – the floor where Lexa and Octavia worked. Even though neither Lexa, nor Octavia, had ever told her where they worked – it wasn’t rocket science to figure out.

 

So as Clarke found herself tapping her foot (with her arms crossed, mind you) at the reception desk on the 18th floor and demanding she speak with Lexa immediately, it was only a matter of time before silly-irrational-Clarke was going to get her way.

 

The older woman opened the door for the blonde and Clarke smiled at her out of politeness more so than anything else. The woman quickly closed the door behind her, as she walked out, leaving Clarke alone in Lexa’s office.

 

“Clarke” Lexa acknowledge.

 

Clarke turned around to face the woman, who was sitting at her desk. She tried to read her body language, but as always Lexa gave nothing away. She was stoic and nonchalant, as usual.

 

“Do not Clarke me, Lexa.”

 

“What is it that you want?”

 

Clarke tried (she really tried) to compose herself, but she wasn’t having any of it. _How dare she_ , she wanted to yell. “I want to know why you slept with me.”

 

“You asked me to” Lexa responded nonchalantly.

 

The blonde cocked her eyebrow, barely amused by the other woman’s response. “And if I asked you to jump off a bridge?”

 

Lexa softly laughed, “Okay. Fair point.” She conceded. “Heat of the moment.”

 

“Heat of the moment?” Clarke challenged.

 

“What are you really doing here Clarke? Because if it’s to ask me silly questions that we both know the answers to, then I do not have the time.” Lexa huffed, finally showing some emotion – albeit annoyance.

 

Clarke’s face dropped suddenly. _Why am I really here?_ She didn’t want to be this person; someone who barges into someone’s work environment and causes a bloody scene. _Fuck_. She knew she had no right to be here, but she was frustrated, hurt, and upset.

 

“Sorry, I’ll go.”

 

“Wait” Lexa almost shouted, and Clarke looked back up at her. “Octavia told me she told you.”

 

“It’s not my business” Clarke offered, “Really. I get it. You broke up with her. You fucked me. I get it.”

 

Lexa rose from her seat and walked towards Clarke, “My relationship with Costia is a complex one. And if I had a couple of spare days, I would honestly tell you all about it” She paused, and sighed. “I slept with you because that’s all I have wanted to do since the moment I met you. I’ve wanted to be close to you. I’ve wanted to be next to you. And yes” she lifted Clarke’s chin so their eyes met, “I wanted to be inside you. I wanted to feel you. And I will not apologize for it.”

 

“I think that’s the most I’ve ever heard you speak”

 

The brunette softly laughed as her green eyes continued to meet Clarke’s blue, “I’ve wanted to call you since that night Clarke, but also I’ve needed some space. And I probably should have told you that, so I will apologize for that.”

 

Clarke could only offer her a small smile. “Do you still need space?”

 

Lexa pulled back from Clarke, “I do” she admitted.

 

The blonde chewed her bottom lip, because in this moment that’s all she could do. She had a purpose to come in here and yell at Lexa for no real reason, to feeling conflicted and now feeling completely vulnerable. She was realizing that her silly-impulsive plan had backfired immensely.

 

“Okay.”

 

There was nothing else she could say.

 

Or do.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is brought to you by my absolute love for Pat Benatar, and my utter dislike of Tequila.

By the end of the week, which can only be described as a ‘punch-you-in-the-ovaries’ type of week, Clarke Griffin needed her two best friends – Raven and Octavia. She also needed a bottle of tequila, and Pat Benatar blaring out of her speakers.

 

Ask and ye shall receive.

 

“Karaoke bitches!” Octavia yelled, as she pushed open the two wooden doors that led to a cute little Japanese karaoke bar.

 

Raven had Clarke’s arm linked in her own, as she dragged her along closely following Octavia into the bar. They were all seated in a booth three rows back from the stage, where three older men (all in expensive business suits FYI) were murdering ‘Love Yourself’ by Justin Bieber.

 

“I don’t know what version is worse” Raven yelled, “Them or the Biebs” she added.

 

“Definitely them” Octavia said. Her disgusted face really did say it all. “Biebs can sing, PLUS he has that whole good boy – turned bad – turned good again thing going for him.”

 

Raven scrunched her face at her friend’s remark, “No he doesn’t. He has that rich-spoilt-brat thing.”

 

“Please” Octavia scolded, “You don’t know him like that” she said in a sing-song voice.

 

Clarke rolled her eyes, “Who the hell are you people talking about?”

 

Raven and Octavia both swiftly turned around to face Clarke, in utter shock.

 

“What!” they both yelled in unison.

 

“Please tell me you know who Justin Bieber is?” Octavia asked, clearly offended and/or bemused.

 

With a confused look on her face, all Clarke could do was shake her head.

 

Raven slapped her forehead, “Jesus Christ Clarke. It’s like I don’t even know who you are anymore.”

 

“Anyway” Octavia drawled out, “Clarke should get up there and sing.”

 

Clarke laughed, a little too loudly, at the thought. _Her? Sing? Yeah right._ “Hell no. I’m here for two reasons and two reasons only. To get drunk and to get really, really drunk.”

 

“And on that note,” Raven got up from her seat, “I’m going to get us some drinks.”

 

“You know, if I remember correctly, you have a really good voice Clarke” Octavia said with all seriousness. “I remember Jake used to play the guitar and you would sing. And I remember always being so envious of you.”

 

Clarke smiled at the memories. Whenever Clarke needed de-stressing, or cheering up, or just something to do, her dad would pull out his guitar and they would make up songs together. Most of the time, they were comical songs, but sometimes – on those special occasions, they were some of the most sweetest songs Clarke had ever heard come out of her voice.

 

And then her dad died, and she never sang again.

 

She swallowed those thoughts down and sighed. “They were some good times, O.”

 

“Right then” Raven announced, all smiles. “I have a bottle of tequila, and I have three glasses.”

 

“So how did you know about this place?” Clarke asked.

 

“Oh” Octavia started, before taking a sip from her glass of tequila. She squirmed a little at the taste, sudden memories of all those bad experiences she ever had with tequila. Memories of her passing out in the bathtub, falling down stairs and face first onto the road of oncoming traffic, to violently puking in the bushes outside the front of Lexa’s apartment complex as her neighbours tried to pass through. She took another sip to wash away those memories. “Lexa brought me here after our first big win.”

 

“The same Lexa that’s currently here now?” Raven asked, her eyes darting to where they entered not too long ago.

 

Clarke tried not to turn around. She really did try her hardest, but she couldn’t help herself. Her eyes scanned the entrance and there she was – as breathtaking as ever. On the arms of another –

 

“What the fuck?” Octavia yelled. “What the fuck is Costia doing here?”

 

Clarke’s eyes dropped. As did her heart. And her stomach. And pretty much everything else in that moment.

 

 _Fuck_.

 

 

** An hour later… **

 

Clarke didn’t say much, she let her drinking do all the talking – which if you could count drinking as talking, than three quarters of a bottle Tequila said A LOT.  Octavia had opted not to go over and ask Lexa what she was doing, and in some small miracle, Lexa hadn’t noticed that the three girls were there. Raven, on the other hand, merely glared at the woman – hoping to burn holes in her face apparently.

 

“Fuck, where’s Clarke?” Octavia suddenly asked.

 

“Wait what? She was literally just here” Raven slurred. “Like literally. Just here.” She flapped her arms to the now vacant space beside her.

 

Octavia scanned the room to see if she could see her friend. She was only slightly relieved that her friend wasn’t over at Lexa’s table, but it only caused for more concern.

 

“I’m gonna go check the bathroom” Octavia started to try and get up from her seat, “Whoa, why is the ground moving?”

 

Raven could only laugh, and hiccup – and a strange sort of hiccup-laugh-snort. “You’re drunk!”

 

“I’m not drunk!” she tried to protest, but ended up cackling instead.

 

Both girls suddenly stopped laughing, when the godawful noise – no more like the sounds of several cats screeching a Shakespeare monologue – brought them out of their drunken high.

 

_“WE ARE YOUNG….HEARTACHE TO HEARTACHE…..WE STAND……NO PROMISES…..NO DEMANDS….LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD”_

Their jaws dropped.

 

“Fuck!”

“Clarke!”

 

_Oh god._

 

Octavia tightly shut her eyes, praying for some small miracle that her boss and friend, had not looked at who was on the stage, and had not seen that she was there as well. But when she opened her eyes, she was met with Lexa’s – looking from across the room, then up to where Clarke was, then back to where Octavia and Raven were. Her mouth agape.

 

_“WE ARE STRONG / NO ONE CAN TELL US WE’RE WRONG / SEARCHING OUR HEARTS FOR SO LONG / BOTH OF US KNOWING….LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD”_

It was hard to watch, especially whenever Clarke’s voice broke.

 

“We need to get her off of there, now!” Octavia snapped, as if suddenly she no longer consumed her part of a now empty bottle of tequila.

 

“Let her get it out of her system, O” Raven conceded. Part of her did want to get her off of that stage, in a desperate attempt in saving some sort of Clarke’s dignity, but also – who the fuck cares? Clarke is a pissed off woman, and a pissed off woman should be allowed to sing Pat fucking Benatar.

 

All they could do was watch her sing, or yell, or whatever that noise was coming from their friend’s mouth. Especially when she emphasized part of the lyrics like, _“WILL YOU TURN ME AWAY, OR TOUCH ME DEEP INSIDE”_ (not missing the clear direction of her words, either).

 

And then she fell off the stage. Flat on her face.

 

Octavia looked over at Raven with her ‘I told you so’ face, and Raven really wanted to cry with laughter. But it was Lexa who grabbed Clarke’s hand, and helped her back to her feet.

 

“I’ve got you”

 

Clarke looked up at her. Her mouth dry, her head pounding, and her heart beat erratically thumping loudly that she was sure the entire room could hear how loud her heart beat was. She remained silent, however.

 

“I’ve got it from here Lex” Octavia gently pushed Lexa aside, and grabbed Clarke’s arm.

 

“Octavia” a voice from behind said.

 

“Hi Costia” Octavia replied calmly.

 

“And you are?” Costia asked in Clarke’s direction.

 

“Leaving” Raven stated, stepping in front of Clarke and Octavia and staring Costia down. If she wanted a staredown, she would certainly get one.

 

Costia politely smiled and stepped aside.

 

 

 

** A little while later… **

 

As soon as they all got back to Raven and Clarke’s apartment, Clarke had passed out quite quickly. Raven and Octavia agreed to take it in turns on making sure Clarke didn’t show any signs of a concussion from her fall, so they tried to sober up (with water, coffee, and episodes of The Real Housewives…”

 

“So that was the girlfriend, huh?” Raven hummed.  “Clarke’s prettier.”

 

“Totally prettier” Octavia agreed.

 

“What’s up with all that?” Raven asked. She had never asked Octavia previously, always wanting to stay Switzerland in the whole matter. But now that shit had definitely hit the fan, she thought she might as well forge neutral.

 

Octavia sighed. She knew Costia well. Very well, to be precise. Lexa had been in an on-and-off again relationship with her for as long as she had known Lexa. She explained to Raven that because Costia worked for the United Nations, it took her around the world, and every time she came back she made Lexa false promises. So they would break up, then get back together, and break up, until one day Lexa lost the spark that she had and stopped caring.

 

“Wow”

 

“I know” Octavia sighed again.

 

“She works for the UN?” Raven asked somewhat amazed and bewildered.

 

“Yep” the younger girl replied with little care.

 

Both girls sighed simultaneously.

 

“Clarke’s still prettier.”

 

“Yep” Octavia chuckled. “Even when she’s drunk singing and sounds like a raccoon chasing a puppy on heat.”

 

Both girls were slightly nodding off until they were awoken by a sudden loud knocking at the door.

 

Raven jumped from her seat, with her hand holding her heart. “Jesus H Mary, what the hell.” She walked to the door (not before kicking her foot on the corner of the sofa) and opened it. “Lexa? What the fuck?”

 

“I need to see Clarke” she demanded.

 

Octavia appeared from behind Raven, “I don’t think now’s a good time Lexa”

 

“Please O, I need to see her” she slurred out. “I need to make sure she’s ok.”

 

Both Raven and Octavia looked at each other, then back to the desperate face of a defeated and vulnerable (and drunk) Lexa.

 

“She’s sleeping” Raven said. “Why don’t you go home and sleep it off, and Clarke can sleep it off, and then we can all reconvene tomorrow and laugh about what a crazy night we all had, yeah?”

 

“Yeah Lexa, how about I take you home?” Octavia asked gently, reaching for Lexa’s hand.

 

“You don’t understand!” Lexa snapped. “I have to see her! I have to tell her I …”

 

Whatever she had to tell her, would have to wait, because Lexa found herself suddenly asleep at Clarke and Raven’s front door.

 

Yep.

 

Lexa passed out.

 

Drunk as a skunk.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drunk!Karaoke-Clarke makes another appearance (flashback style)

As soon as she opened her eyes, the room was spinning and her head felt like she went 12 rounds with Mike Tyson (pre ear biting days). Clarke Griffin was fucking hungover.

 

“Oh crap” she murmured aloud. 

 

She rolled (more so fell) out of bed and headed for the kitchen. “Holy mother of hangovers!” The words escaped her lips as she tried to walk (at least in a straight line without falling over and/or tripping into anything). She passed Raven’s bedroom and saw both Raven and Octavia soundly sleeping in some weird pattern. Octavia’s feet were on Raven’s head, and Clarke almost cursed herself for being far too hungover to be able to take sneaky blackmail photos. As soon as she got out to the kitchen (without tripping over or falling) she (spoke too soon) kicked her little toe on a chair.

 

“Ow my ow.. fuck!” She yelped in sudden pain.

 

“Hi”

 

Clarke flung her head around at the sound of the familiar voice.

 

_Lexa._

“Lexa? What the fuck are you doing here?” Clarke bitterly asked.

 

Lexa grabbed at her head, as she suddenly felt her own hangover. “I…uh….I don’t know?”

 

_Was that a question, or an answer?_

Clarke, who was obviously confused by the situation, did a quick double-take to make sure she was in her own house. (yep, she was). She walked over to her sofa, where Lexa was, and saw that she was covered with Raven’s Mighty Mouse blanket (her favourite) which clearly indicated that Raven let her in, and let her sleep on the sofa.

 

 _I should have been a bloody detective_ , she thought to herself.

 

“I saw you at the bar last night” Lexa said, as if she suddenly remembered.

 

Clarke’s face went a bright beet red colour when she has sudden flashbacks of –

 

“Pat fucking Benatar” she cried out, only to quickly cover her mouth in shock. “No, no, no, no, this cannot be happening! I did not fucking sing Love is a Battlefield.”

 

“I think we should use the term ‘sing’ really loosely here Clarke” Lexa smirked.

 

Clarke glared at Lexa, although she couldn’t help the traitorous smile that was forming. “You were there with Costia.” Clarke grimaced at the thought. It was all coming back to her.

 

And it was all coming back to Lexa, too.

 

 

** The night before... **

 

Lexa took another sip of her bourbon (neat), as she tried to pretend to at least consider what Costia was saying. After all, they had been together for a long time, and they had been down this road several times – maybe this was meant to be. Maybe they were meant to be. And maybe this was just another rough patch. After all, how do you give up on years of hard work?

 

And then the familiar sound of one of her favourite songs (of all time) started playing on the stage.

 

_“WE ARE YOUNG….”_

Lexa loved Pat Benatar.

 

_“HEARTACHE TO HEARTACHE WE STAND…”_

And as she glanced to look up at the stage to see which drunk was ‘almost’ doing a good enough job in singing her favourite song, it was needless to say that her face dropped when she saw that familiar face, with the blonde messy hair, and those blue eyes.

 

_“NO PROMISES NO DEMANDS…LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD”_

_Clarke!_

“Hey, you listening to me?” Costia asked tugging at Lexa’s forearm.

 

“Sorry, what were you saying?” Lexa returned to look at Costia, trying to shake off seeing Clarke.

 

“I said I forgive you”

 

“For?” Lexa asked curiously, because as far as she was concerned she hadn’t done anything that needed forgiveness.

 

Costia raised her brow in her most famous (and annoying) don’t-argue-with-me way. “For you sleeping with another woman.”

 

Lexa huffed and laughed at the same time. “I didn’t ask you to forgive me, Costia.”

 

Costia was beginning to say something else when all of a sudden Lexa heard a thump from the stage. It was Clarke, and by the looks of things she had fallen off. Without hesitation, she leapt from her seat and went over to Clarke’s side.

 

“I’ve got you” she said, as she pulled Clarke up from the floor.

 

Clarke may have remained silent, but in that moment the whole world stopped. It couldn’t have been more than four or five seconds, but it seemed and felt like hours or days. Hours and days of staring into those blue eyes, the ones that when she first ever saw made her feel more alive than she had ever felt. Those same eyes that showed compassion, strength, warmth, and kindness. Those same eyes that hid a secret that were only for Lexa’s eyes. Those eyes that told her that Lexa was special. Those eyes that made Lexa feel special.

 

“I’ve got it from here Lex” She heard her friend say, and Lexa snapped out of her daze (or gaze) and back into reality. Everything was a bit of a blur after that, still enraptured by the after effects of Clarke Griffin. Next thing she knew, she was gone.

 

“That was her, wasn’t it?” Costia snapped, staring at Lexa.

 

“I need another drink” Lexa mindlessly stated.

 

“I can’t believe you wanted to end our relationship for her, Lexa. For crying out loud” Costia almost yelled. It was authoritative and belittling all at the same time.

 

She didn’t just drink one drink, she drank three – one after the other. She tried to compose herself, and she tried to openly care and listen to whatever it was Costia was rambling on about – but she couldn’t. She couldn’t even manage to calm her heart beat, let alone anything else. And then as if her brain was finally catching up to her surroundings, Lexa turned to face Costia.

 

“Her name is Clarke, and I’m not ending our relationship because of her.”

 

“Good” Costia chided.

 

Lexa waved her hand as if to say ‘I haven’t finished’, “I’m ending our relationship for me, Costia.”

 

“Lexa, we’ve been together for-“  
  
“Enough” she dismissively said. “You can pick up your things tomorrow, or I’ll have them shipped to Sudan or wherever it is you’ve decided is more important than our relationship ever was”

 

Costia tried to say something – anything at all – but nothing came out.

 

 

** Present day… **

“Sit Clarke,” Lexa gestured to the part of the sofa that was empty. “Please.” She softly pleaded.

 

It was the _please_ that had her (always use your manners kids) as Clarke found herself sitting next to Lexa. She looked at Lexa, who looked so fragile in this moment, and yet always seemed composed and calm. Meanwhile, she was internally struggling to compose any half-decent sentence, or thought. Lexa had her tongue tied, and even though she barely knew the woman – there was always this inexplicable pull that she felt.

 

“Last night was-” Lexa was cut off with Clarke’s lips upon her own.

 

It was soft; both lips were soft and it felt good. Neither Clarke nor Lexa knew who moaned into the kiss first, both getting utterly lost in this kiss. A kiss that felt like the sensations of a new beginning. A kiss that where they could both feel each other’s eyes smiling wide with anticipation. A kiss that silenced the world in which they lived in, so that these two were the only ones who mattered – who existed.

 

Clarke came up for air first, but Lexa didn’t hesitate to bring Clarke’s mouth back to hers – where it belonged.

 

And in this moment, much like all of their moments, Clarke was Lexa’s Yin to her Yang.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to everyone that wanted them to talk.  
> ***WARNING: This chapter contains no humor.

For much of the morning, Lexa and Clarke had found themselves cuddling on the sofa in a comfortable silence, only interrupted by stolen kisses. Clarke was lazily half-laying on top of Lexa, with Lexa’s arm embracing her frame quite perfectly.

 

“We should talk” Lexa finally said out of complete casualness and nonchalance.

 

Clarke took a long breath – she knew this part was coming – and agreed, as she nodded her head into Lexa’s chest. She reluctantly removed herself from Lexa’s arms, and sat up, indicating to Lexa she was ready to listen: she was ready to hear what Lexa had to say.

 

And Lexa smiled at that.

 

“I’ve been with Costia for a very long time” Lexa hesitated, not fully knowing if this is how she wanted to start this conversation. But now that she was here, she thought, she might as well see where this goes. “And when you’ve been with someone, for that long, you have hiccups and strains but you remind yourself that you’ve invested so much into this relationship that you would be foolish to give up on it.”

 

Clarke nodded as if she understood, but really she felt her heart clench with each word Lexa was saying. All she wanted to do was go back into the bubble that her and Lexa had created and block out the reality – block out everything and everyone.

 

“So, you’re back with Costia?” She softly asked, not really wanting to know the answer. “I mean, obviously, I don’t know what you two have gone through” Clarke paused, her face dropping a little “But, I get it.”

“You need to let me finish Clarke” Lexa quickly answered, and Clarke could only narrowly smile – her mind completely racing with harsh thoughts.

 

“I haven’t been in love with Costia for a while, and I thought it was just another hiccup” Lexa looked down to the ground at nothing in particular, but the thoughts of Costia – and the relationship that was (or is) – had made her feel alone. “But it wasn’t just another hiccup Clarke…” she looked back up at Clarke, and into those blue eyes. “And I knew that when I met you.”

 

“I’m sorry” was all Clarke found herself saying, but she was hushed by Lexa’s lips on her own again. And to Clarke it felt bittersweet, but she wanted to hold onto this moment for as long as possible. Lexa’s lips felt right, and Clarke had been trying to figure that out since she first met Lexa, but that is what it came down to in the end – they (no, she) felt right.

 

Lexa broke from the kiss, again, but softly held Clarke’s face in her hands: their eyes never leaving one another.  “You have nothing to be sorry for, Clarke.”

 

In that moment Clarke finally saw, and Lexa finally allowed her to see, that whatever they had (or have) is real – and they both felt it. She let out a breath that she didn’t realize she was holding in, and took one of Lexa’s hands in her own. “Costia?”

 

“Over.”

 

Clarke sighed, unsure if she wanted the answer to her next question, “And us?”

 

Lexa closed her eyes. The memories of her relationship with Costia flooding in, what seemed like, chronological order. When they met, to when Lexa knew she had fallen in love and the wondering first few years of their beautiful relationship and how she would wake up to notes from Costia: “I love you,” “You amaze me,” “My heart beats for you.” And then when it suddenly started falling apart – distance the main factor, to then feeling like putting an effort in was too much of an effort. To, finally, breaking point – two years ago: it wasn’t the first time they broke up, but it was the first time Lexa felt like she didn’t want to be with Costia anymore. They had broken up, already, several times before – but this time was different.

 

Costia had come back from a four and a half month stint with the UN in Switzerland. She had been back for three days, without telling Lexa. But Octavia had saw her getting coffee with some girl, and promptly told Lexa. Lexa never once said anything, though, nor did she ask. And Costia never once mentioned it either, but from that day onwards – Lexa’s feelings had changed.

 

Lexa had changed.

 

She no longer felt like she wanted to care, but she continued on because after all, she had already invested so much of herself into this relationship. For two solid years, Lexa no longer cared.

 

And then Clarke happened.

 

 

** Rewind back to when Lexa first met Clarke… **

 

 

She saw her friend sitting down at a table with two other people who were unfamiliar; one a raggedy hair boy who she wouldn’t look twice at on any other ordinary day, and then _her_. She had messy blonde hair, and she slouched – but it was her smile that lit up the entire restaurant that caught Lexa off guard. _Who is this woman_ , she asked herself as she caught herself unable to move. Lexa finally found herself at the table and greeted her friend Octavia, before acknowledging that there were other people.  
  
“I didn’t know we would be having company this evening.”

 

“I hope you don’t mind” Octavia smiled. “This is Clarke, we went to school together.”

 

_Clarke, what a peculiar name for a peculiar woman._

The conversation (and alcohol) flowed smoothly between the three women (the boy was awkward and Lexa didn’t seem to notice his presence too much – even when he tried to add to the conversation). It was the banter, however, between herself and Clarke that had Lexa feeling something else.

 

It was an unusual feeling. She felt light, and bubbly, and even found herself wholesomely laughing at things Clarke had said. This woman – this Clarke – was making her feel giddy. But as soon as Lexa acknowledged that fact, she chastised herself and reminded herself that, well, Costia.

But then Clarke excused herself to go to the bathroom, and before she could stop herself from following her – she followed her. She followed Clarke with the anticipation of fulfilling whatever desire it was she was suddenly consumed with. She wanted, needed, and desired Clarke. And it was the first time, in two years, that Lexa had wanted anything.

 

And when Clarke kissed her?

 

_Oh boy._

Maybe it was the fact Lexa was tipsy, or that Clarke was also tipsy, that she lost herself in that moment. And that moment was deliciously wonderful, filled with warmth and an honest sincerity (if one could even describe a kiss as such a thing) but she knew she couldn’t continue. _Costia_. She owed it to the several year investment to not be foolish about some, tipsy (?), moment.

 

But then a few days later, she saw Clarke again. And she wasn’t tipsy, and those light, tingly, warm, gooey sensations were all still vividly there. She didn’t know Clarke, but yet felt as though she had known her since before time existed. Then every time she continued to see Clarke, her mind, body, and soul continued to crave for this woman in a way she never knew possible.

 

She hid her feelings because of Costia.

 

She hid her feelings because she thought she was going bloody mad.

 

She hid her feelings because she could not explain, or reason with, the unexplainable.

 

 

** Presently… **

  


“I want us” Lexa breathed out in almost a whisper. “I want this so much.”

 

Clarke blinked several times wondering if she heard correctly. She had expected that Lexa to tell her that she was back with Costia, but instead here she was – in her house, holding her hands, and making her feel safe – telling her that she wanted her.

 

“Clarke?”

 

“Sorry” Clarke snapped out of her daze, “Just…trying to process.”

 

The brunette smiled sincerely, “It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything.”

 

“I want to..” The blonde quickly reassured, “But, for right now – can we just go back to cuddling?”

 

Lexa smiled and nodded her head at the other woman, knowing too well that she would wait for Clarke for however long it would take. Their bodies collided in comfort, and Clarke was once again lazily half-laying on top of her. She pulled Raven’s Mighty Mouse blanket over top of their bodies, and held Clarke tightly against her.

 

“Lexa?”

 

“Mmm?” The brunette sleepily responded.

 

Clarke swallowed nervously, as she dared asked herself whether or not she would (or should) take a leap of faith. She wanted Lexa, she knew that much, but was she willing to risk it all again? Because, after all, there’s only so many times you can turn on and turn down Clarke Griffin.

 

“I want us too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, did you feel like this chapter was the end?


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a short one. I really didn't know where to go from the last chapter and I was pretty ready to end it there, but I owe this one to all of you who have stuck around and left some hilarious comments and wanted more. This has been a trip and I've loved writing it, so thank you for reading :)

It had been three months since Clarke and Lexa had been dating, and it also happened to be Clarke’s birthday. Octavia and Raven wanted to plan a party for Clarke, but Lexa had other ideas and wanted to take Clarke out for dinner followed by a quiet weekend. Their busy lives had gotten in the way, with Lexa taking on a big case at the firm, and Clarke had been inundated with contracts to illustrate up to five new books. Which meant they didn’t have a lot of time for ‘adult’ things (if you catch my drift).

 

“I know you said not to buy you anything…” Lexa started, as she coolly slid her gift over to Clarke. “But, I couldn’t help myself.” She blushed.

 

Clarke gave her that knowing look, meaning she knew Lexa wouldn’t follow orders. Not that she minded, after all. However when Clarke opened the gift from Lexa, she saw a beautiful white cold necklace – which she knew would have cost Lexa an arm and a leg, which is why she said _no gifts_ in the first place – but the inscription on the necklace reduce Clarke to a blubbering mess.

 

“Do you not like it?” Lexa asked concerned.

 

“God no!” Clarke quickly said, “I mean yes! I love it. It’s beautiful.”

 

Lexa smiled, but was still concerned. “Why the tears?”

 

Clarke held the necklace, and read the inscription, “I carry your heart, I carry it in my heart” Clarke wiped away a tear, “My favorite poem, by my favorite poet – you remembered.”

 

Lexa chuckled softly, relived that Clarke hadn’t disliked her gift. “Of course Clarke. I remember everything.”

 

The blonde leaned over the table closer to Lexa, “And for that, you’re getting lucky tonight.”

 

 

** Later that evening… **

****

 

After dinner, Lexa and Clarke walked around the city hand in hand, merely enjoying each others company. It had become a favorite pastime for both women, during stolen lunch breaks when Clarke would visit Lexa at the office and take her for a walk. Or when Lexa visited Clarke at the Library. They would walk aimlessly, hand in hand, asking each other all sorts of questions or strolling in a comfortable silence.

 

Tonight, however, felt a little different for Clarke. As much as she loved this moment, and these walks, she wanted more. So when she pressed Lexa up against the Macy sign on 5th Avenue, and firmly kissed her, Lexa was well aware it wasn’t the moment for walking or talking…and more for doing.

 

The drive back to Lexa’s apartment was filled with stolen glances, and a few kisses with every red light Lexa seemed to manage to get. Clarke knew how to tease Lexa, and gripping on her thigh was driving Lexa a little insane. But the kisses on Lexa’s neck…. _Jesus Christ._

As soon as Lexa parked her car, and they got out of the car, Clarke practically jumped Lexa. Her lips went straight to Lexa’s most sensitive spot – her ear lobe, when Clarke kissed and gently sucked causing Lexa to yelp out all sorts of noises.

 

Lexa dragged Clarke quickly into her apartment complex, and waited for the elevator. More stolen kisses, but luckily for Clarke and Lexa the elevator didn’t take too long and they suddenly found themselves finally outside Lexa’s apartment.

 

This time Lexa pressed Clarke up against the front of her door, and Clarke could see the burning desire in Lexa’s eyes. Her green eyes suddenly turning a darker shade, filled with lust and want and it turned Clarke on.

 

“Fuck!” she whispered into Lexa’s ear, as Lexa’s hands were tearing at her clothes desperately wanting to remove them. “Take me to bed!” Clarke whimpered.

 

Lexa looked around sheepishly and shook her head at Clarke. Her face mischievous, and Clarke knew Lexa was up to something but before she could ask her what, Lexa’s hands were suddenly pressed against her center and Clarke thought she would come then and there.

 

She held Lexa close to her and moaned approvingly into her ear, thanking her inner conscience for deciding on wearing a dress tonight. “Inside!” Clarke whined, which Lexa caught the smutty off handed double entendre and decided to slip her finger inside Clarke.

 

“I hope this is what you meant” Lexa winked, and even if Clarke wanted to protest her eyes were too busy rolling in the back of her head to be able to comprehend any of her surroundings other than Lexa’s long fingers inside her, feeling her, fucking her.

 

As much as Lexa wanted to continue this out in the hall, she knew she wanted Clarke inside. On every available space, bench top, sofa, table, in the shower, in bed. She wanted Clarke. All of her. Every last inch, in every possible way. She opened the door, her fingers still inside Clarke, walking them both inside.

 

“SURPRISE!”

 

 _“Oh shit!”_  
 _“Oh fuck!”_  
 _“Nice one!_ ”

 

Lexa’s fingers were still inside Clarke, as they were greeted by a whole bunch of now mortified friends.

 

 

** A few moments earlier… **

 

 

“What are they doing out there? I thought I heard keys”

  
“Shush Reyes” Octavia scowled at her friend. “Maybe they’re just talking.”

 

Raven rolled her eyes, “Talking? Is that what they’re calling it these days?”

 

Octavia slapped Raven’s arm. “They are definitely not having sex outside in the hallway. Lexa is too much of a prude for that.”

 

“Ha!” Raven squealed met with Octavia’s disapproving glare.

 

“See?” Octavia pointed to the door. “They’re coming. Lights on in three…two….one….”

 

“SURPRISE!”

 

“Well, you weren’t wrong about them coming.” Raven laughed loudly to a now clearly distressed Octavia.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it's time to say goodbye to this fic. I contemplated long and hard about where I wanted to go with this and what I wanted to achieve out of this, and it's all been done. I'd like to thank you all for taking the time out of your day to read this, and also wait patiently for each chapter. You've inspired some of the crazy shenanigans that have happened here with your amazing hilarity and genuine feedback. Also, Drunk!Karaoke-Clarke makes a re-appearance.

It was a Saturday evening and Clarke and Raven were at home, on the sofa, embarking on the concept of ‘Netflix and chill.’ Although it had been several minutes and both girls were still flicking through the catalogue.

 

“There’s absolutely nothing to watch” Clarke huffed.

 

Raven rolled her eyes, “There’s literally like a thousand things we can watch, just choose something.”

 

“You choose something” Clarke snapped, throwing the remote at her friend.

 

Raven cocked her brow, “So much for Netflix and chill…where’s the chill?”

 

Clarke threw her hands up in the air dramatically, “You’re infuriating.”

 

“And you need to get laid. Sexually frustrated Clarke is a real bitch to live with.” The raven-haired beauty retorted.

 

“I’m not-” Clarke protested before being cut off by Raven

 

“You are.”

 

“But-”

 

“No.”

 

“Fine, I’m sexually frustrated.” Clarke finally admitted in defeat. Truth be told, she was and she knew she was. It had been a week since she saw Lexa who had to go interstate for a case her firm was working on. There had been late night phone calls that attempted to be sexy but were disastrous and awkward. They also attempted to sext, but neither of them knew what that entailed and ended up just talking about their days. Lexa was out of town for another three more nights, and Clarke was going bat shit crazy.

 

“I only got a glimpse of the Birthday action, but is the sex good? Because it looked good.” Raven queried cheekily. It had been a little over a month since Clarke’s birthday surprise that really backfired on everyone, but for Raven in particular it was a month of embarrassing Clarke at every given opportunity.

 

Clarke rolled her eyes. Her face no longer went several shades of red anymore. Maybe the first two weeks of constant humiliating jokes at her suspense, which Clarke wore the brunt of. Everyone else feared Lexa. “Can we stop talking about that unfortunate event? But yes, the sex is good.”

 

“Who tops who?” Raven asked a little too quickly.

 

The blonde threw her pillow at her friend, and shook her head. “Enough.”

 

“Oh come on!”

 

“I don’t believe in tops and bottoms. Obviously there are relationships with that kind of dynamic, but-”  
  
  
“So what you’re saying is, she tops you?” Raven sheepishly interrupted knowing all too well Clarke was protesting too much.

 

“So fucking infuriating!”

 

Raven decided on a penguin documentary before settling back into the sofa, and throwing her Mighty Mouse blanket over top. “Is it love?”

 

Clarke lazily looked over at her friend on the other side of the sofa, “What, the penguins? Apparently they mate for life.”

 

“Not the penguins, although that’s a fun fact.”

 

The blonde scooted closer to her friend, and pulled Raven’s favourite blanket over her legs. She had been thinking about this question a lot lately. It was something she didn’t know how to answer. Of course there was an undeniable chemistry between her and Lexa from day one, but could it be love already? People fall in and out of love every day, in fact in this very minute – someone has fallen in love. But, also, someone has fallen out of love. When she thought of Lexa, a smile was brought to her face automatically. A sense of warmth followed soon after. Lexa was caring, and giving (boy did she give…if you catch my drift), and aside from her two best friends, Lexa had become her favourite person. But was she in love?

 

Clarke swallowed, “I can’t stop thinking about her. Even when she’s right next to me. So you tell me, is it love?”

 

“Seems to me that she’s your penguin.” Raven smiled.

 

 

**Three days later…**

 

 

As soon as Lexa entered her apartment, Clarke was waiting for her with open arms. There was no sense of being polite and asking polite questions like, “Hi, how are you” or “How was your flight,” instead there was Clarke immediately pouncing on Lexa, and ravishing her with kisses in between “I missed you” and “Take me to bed.”

 

Clarke jumped onto and threw her legs around Lexa, with which Lexa showed Clarke just how strong she was as she carried Clarke back towards her bedroom. They promptly both fell onto Lexa’s bed, and Lexa could feel just how much Clarke was turned on by the immediate response of her body being underneath Lexa.

 

Lexa was definitely a top, and Clarke didn’t mind one bit. Although she would never concede this to her friends.

 

As she felt Lexa above her, and her hands roaming over Clarke’s body, she couldn’t help but look into Lexa’s eyes. She’d always loved looking into Lexa’s eyes. They were beautiful and green, and could turn her into a puddle within a fraction of a second. They also told Clarke many stories; stories that Lexa hadn’t verbalised. And tonight they were telling Clarke one thing.

 

And every time Lexa’s fingers slid in and out of her, and every gasp of air they clung to between heated kisses, and every noise of pleasure that they made, Lexa’s eyes remained focused on Clarke. Telling her a story. Telling her everything. And when Clarke climaxed? That was it.

 

“I penguin you”

 

“You what?” Lexa laughed.

 

“Fuck, I meant to say I love you.”

 

Lexa rolled over and kissed Clarke’s shoulder. “I penguin you too.”

 

 

**18 months later…**

 

“Oh god” Raven cringed as she saw the scene about to unfold in front of her eyes. “Not this again.”

 

“Someone has to stop her” Octavia added.

 

_“IF I…SHOULD STAY…I WOULD ONLY BE IN YOUR WAY”_

 

“It’s worse this time” Raven cried out, trying to block her ears from the noise her drunk friend was making on the stage.

 

_“SO I’LL GO…BUT I KNOW….I’LL THINK OF YOU EVERY STEP OF THE WAY”_

 

“I hate Lexa!” Octavia yelled out.

 

“I hate her too” Raven agreed with her friend. “How dare she fucking leave…”  
  
  
_“AND I…WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU….OOOH…..WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.”_

 

“I’m only a few seats away Raven.” Lexa piped up, bemused by the sight before her. “Besides, it’s Whitney bitch.”

 

Raven and Octavia both rolled their eyes simultaneously.

 

“How does it feel?” Raven asked Lexa.

 

Lexa smiled. “How does what feel?”

 

Octavia grinned and Raven could only laugh. “Being married to Clarke the drunken karaoke champion Griffin?”

 

“That’s Clarke the drunken karaoke champion Griffin-Woods to you, Raven.”

 

_“DARLING….I LOVE YOU….I’LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU….OOH”_

 

**The End.**


End file.
